Divorce may be an emotionally complex situation, but it does not have to end in flames and destruction. In fact, some couples end their marriage peacefully, much like the virally shared couple who recently ended their 19-year-marriage with flowers and a note. The following provides some tips on how you and your spouse can work toward an amicable divorce.
Think Before You Speak
Emotional pain during divorce is normal. So are feelings of grief, anger, resentment, and betrayal. However, it is important to remember that having such feelings and acting on them are two different things. Yes, you can work through your feelings (preferably in healthy ways, or with the help of a professional). What you cannot do is lash out at your spouse – not if you hope to end things amicably. So, rather than speak first and regret later, try to avoid talking when you are upset. Give yourself time and space to heal and minimize contact when you are having a bad day/week/month.
Seek Support from Family and Friends
Another way to help you cope during the divorce and avoid the temptation to lash out is to seek support from your family and friends. Let them be your shoulder to lean on, your place to vent when you are frustrated, and your cheerleaders when you feel like maybe you just cannot “do it” anymore. Let them help you in any way they are willing so that you have some extra time to process your complex feelings.
Consider Alternative Dispute Resolution Options
The very nature of a litigated divorce is contentious. It essentially places you and your spouse on opposite sides, leaving each one feeling as though they must “stand their ground.” In some cases, this might be necessary. For example, marriages with a history of financial or physical abuse are typically litigated since the abuser could potentially manipulate the victim in negotiations. However, there are many situations in which a negotiated divorce may be preferred over litigation.
Alternative dispute resolution options, such as mediation, are typically less expensive and give divorcees more freedom and power in the outcome of their case. Children also tend to fare better in these situations because their parents are less likely to argue over matters like the allocation of parental responsibilities and parenting time. In short, it can be a healthier option for everyone.
Contact Our Illinois Divorce Attorneys
If you want to divorce amicably, STG Divorce Law can discuss the various dispute resolution options with you and help you determine which one might be right for your situation. Dedicated to your family’s best interest, we can help guide you through the process. Call 630-665-8630 and schedule a consultation with our family law attorneys today.