Marriage is difficult. Fights will happen, disagreements will arise, and your spouse will annoy you. Those who buy into the fantasy life that is suggested by fairy tales are doomed to disappointment at best, and divorce at worst. Very few people get married knowing that the relationship will end indivorce, and indeed all but the most callous are prepared to go to great lengths to prevent such an end. If one truly wishes for their marriage to last, one must vigilantly observe the condition of the relationship for problems that often lead to an acrimonious end. Seven warning signs have been identified in a recent piece by family therapist and author Debra Manchester MacMannis on her blog at PsychCentral. A few of the most pressing ones are listed below:
You Are No Longer Affectionate With Your Partner
Shows of physical affection are indications of care for one another that a partner needs. Physical proximity also helps the body produce oxytocin, a hormone linked to feelings of warmth and well-being. Be it cuddling on the couch or a peck on the cheek, if these cursory physical touches are absent from a relationship, it could be a sign that the relationship has cooled or, worse, that there is hidden resentment or contempt on the part of one or both of the partners.
You Don’t Create Enough Time Together Doing Enjoyable Activities
While marriages take patience, they should not always be work. If being together means a non-stop string of chore-like activities, like grocery shopping and home improvement, then bonding over fun takes a backseat. Not only does the relationship become associated with negative feelings of obligation, but the friendship aspect is lost. Time must be spent having fun.
You Feel Lonely, Even When You Are In the Same Room
Marriages are partnerships, but they are also friendships. A key component of that friendship is being able to unburden oneself to someone, and to have someone to rely on. When that is absent, MacMannis states, it creates an environment that is rife with possibility for an extramarital affair. “Most infidelities are not due to sexual desires...but they begin more innocently as a desire for friendship,” writes MacMannis.
Contact an Illinois Divorce Attorney
If your marriage is in trouble, and you want to save it, counseling and therapy are available. If the unspeakable happens, however, a seasoned divorce attorney can compassionately guide you through the difficult times so you can move on with your life. If you are considering divorce, contact Sullivan Taylor & Gumina for a consultation.